Exercise in Futility

Let me just think out loud for a moment, because I’m having a difficult time understanding something.  You are at your gym.  You are admiring all the people that are trying to do something healthy for their body.  You’ve got the bruisers, the cruisers, the heavy, the thin and the people that don’t fit into any of those categories – like me.  Some are enjoying the publicly provided music, while others have brought their own custom blends of entertainment. 

In the distance you hear something that sounds like a phone ringing.  You casually glance to the right and see that a person is, in fact, having a phone conversation.  They haven’t stopped exercising; they are continuing to pedal or pump or whatever motion they were performing at the time.  I can tell that this is not some urgent business call; this is a personal call.  These are not quick phone calls where they say “Hey dude, I’ll have to call you back a little later.”  These, many times, end up being five to 10 minute conversations.  I am not a body builder by any stretch of the imagination, but when I’m at the gym to exercise, I’m there to exercise.  I leave my cell phone in the locker room.  I’m not there to socialize or talk to my neighbor on the bicep machine.  These “cell-ercisers” offend me on a different level than phone conversations at a table in a restaurant. 

After working out myself, I leave the gym – perhaps a little more confused than when I began.  I make the obligatory MP3 changeover from my headphones to the car stereo.  This time I glance to my left, because I can’t believe what I think I’m seeing.  There is a guy riding a bicycle while smoking a cigarette.  I’m sure it’s a cigarette, because I see a smoke trail leaving the business end of his face.  You might not agree with my opinion of cell phones in the gym, but you have to admit that smoking while riding a bike is just wrong on so many levels.  Is this guy so addicted to cigarettes that he can’t even wait until he gets to his final destination (no pun intended) before taking a drag from this portable tobacco product?  Can the buzz feel so much better while on a bike? 

Personally I think that talking on the phone and smoking, while exercising, is too much work.  It’s a bad example of multitasking.  Come to think about it, exercising is too much work.  I think I need a nap.